MicroShaque Announces Acquisition of FAF

[bjornredtail]

April 1, 2009
Redmond WA,

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
MicroShaque to Dominate Brower-Based Web Games With the Acquisition of FAF
MicroShaque, the worldwide leader in all software, ever, has just announced its plans to acquire FAF, a developer or web based games. Using FAF's vast player and install base, MicroShaque plans to entice these users into using it's operating system, web server and database server platform.

"Basically, we plan on altering the game's code so it will only work on our IIS (Integrated Internet Subverter) webserver, using our MSSQL (MicroShaque Sorting Queries with great Latency) database server. Then, we plan on altering the visual appearance to users so it will only render correctly when it is viewed by our Internet Exploder web browser, which, of course will only work on our Winderz Operating System. Muahahahahahhaaaahahah..." said the director of markatature, "Wait, you aren't acctually going to put that in the press release, are you? "

These changes will further improve the strategic advantage that Winderz has for your home and workplace. To learn more about Windez, visit the MicroShaq Website.

MicroShaq. Because, you have no real choice.

[Devari]

I'll let you guys in on a couple secrets.

Firstly, yes, Shaq runs this company. He's also hired the FAF team to make Shaq-Fu 2 and a sequel to that much-loved family-friendly romp, Kazaam.

Secondly, yes, Beatles, Bjorn, and I got a massive amount of cash for selling you guys out. We tried to get Veranor in on it, but the lad has disappeared.

[The Beatles]

Absolutely. And frankly, one-third beats one-fourth any day. Can't buy as many little Greek islands with one-fourth.

We'll also be adding a few other features to the actual gameplay. Private messages will now be in OOXML format (Onerous Outsourced XML), for which you will need the latest version of MSWORD (Multiple Security Wulnerabilities On Random Days).

We will also be revamping the attack system: adding a new and more devastating "Lawyer" unit, which can do Corporate Mergers, Patent Suits, DMCA takedowns, and various other things for kill runs. They come with high upkeep.

Finallly, we will be adding some heuristics based on your User-Agent String (browser and OS identification) to networth calculations. If you're using Winderz 98 or 2000, forget about the top 10!

[Kutolah]

If today wasn't April 1st, then I would have been like WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[Slasher]

Lmao, that was a good laugh