1. Try avoiding fights.
2. When safe, run.
3. Attack the groin.
Appendix:
Note A: When fighting a female, modify rule 3 to: "Attack the breasts."
Note B: If armed, wave weapon around menacingly.
Just kidding, you'd have to be very antisocial to end up in a fight anyway! I haven't "thrown a punch" in my life, just been kneed once. Ah, modern civilization.
1: Avoid if possible
2: Take them down
3: Apply a choke
Appendix A: To avoid any effort in take downs, simply use your body weight. You don't have to have a lot of body weight for this to be effective.
Appendix B: Instead of a choke a simple joint manipulation will also work nicely. Do not however go for a heel hook if you don't feel like getting your face pummeled while you work on establishing the hold.
Throwing punches are overrated, if it's good enough to do damage it's probably gonna break your hand. Knees can hurt, you should have ducked
I know the voices in my head arn't real but they usually have some pretty good ideas.
1. Avoid if possible
2. Use your weight
3. Sit on them
Note: This only works if you are built like Volkov and are 6'6" and weigh in excess of 260 pounds. (Exact weight is on a need to know basis, and no one but my doctor needs to know.)
Appendix A: If you have any knowledge of pressure points, use early and often. The nerve bundle on top of the shoulders is particularly effective. It runs down the entire arm, and it hit properly will paralyze the arm(s) for the crucial time it takes to knock them over and begin sitting on them.
Oh and I've been in exactly three fights in my life. The only one I lost was when we threw punches. Actually the one I "lost" doesn't count, cause it was three punches and then the asst. principle collared us both. The other guy got the last punch in, so that's why I say I lost. And when I was real young, I got in trouble for saying the word "nuts" after some kid came up to me on the playground and just randomly decided to knee me in them. As Beatles said, gotta love modern civilization.
It is said that when Rincewind dies, the occult ability of the human race will go UP by a fraction. -Terry Pratchett
2) Make eye contact and don't blink...begin sweating while staring.
3) Calmy walk up to opponet and unleash all fighting game moves that you can do.
Notes: Soul Calibur II works the best. Keep your guard up...you will take block damage, but it won't be that bad. Guard Impacts will turn the tide of battle.
*Futurama character
Nami kotogotoku, waga tate to nare. Ikazuchi kotogotoku, waga yaiba to nare. Sōgyo no Kotowari!
波悉く我が盾となれ雷悉く我が刃となれ,双魚の理 !
Every wave be my shield, every lightning become my blade!
If you go down to the woods today, you better not go alone
It's a lovely day in the woods today, but safer to stay at home
BECAUSE EVIL FREEN IS KILLING ALL THE TEDDY BEARS AT THEIR PICNIC
1. Avoid if possible
2. Use your weight
3. Sit on them
Note: This only works if you are built like Volkov and are 6'6" and weigh in excess of 260 pounds. (Exact weight is on a need to know basis, and no one but my doctor needs to know.)
Appendix A: If you have any knowledge of pressure points, use early and often. The nerve bundle on top of the shoulders is particularly effective. It runs down the entire arm, and it hit properly will paralyze the arm(s) for the crucial time it takes to knock them over and begin sitting on them.
Oh and I've been in exactly three fights in my life. The only one I lost was when we threw punches. Actually the one I "lost" doesn't count, cause it was three punches and then the asst. principle collared us both. The other guy got the last punch in, so that's why I say I lost. And when I was real young, I got in trouble for saying the word "nuts" after some kid came up to me on the playground and just randomly decided to knee me in them. As Beatles said, gotta love modern civilization.
Was a junior in high school before I cracked 5' tall, graduated at 5'11" and 150-155 lbs. Not exactly the sit-on-em body type. Funny thing is I have been the exact same weight for 8 years and then 2 months ago for no apparant reason I gained 20 lbs in one month.
I know the voices in my head arn't real but they usually have some pretty good ideas.
*laughs*. Right, so the Volkov guide will not work for you. Wow.. 20 lbs? Maybe it mystically transferred from me to you, because I recently lost 20 pounds, like out of nowhere.
And shut the antisocial heck up philip.
It is said that when Rincewind dies, the occult ability of the human race will go UP by a fraction. -Terry Pratchett
Just kidding, you'd have to be very antisocial to end up in a fight anyway! I haven't "thrown a punch" in my life, just been kneed once. Ah, modern civilization. 
