Notes on the American Flag

[The Beatles]

So windy posted an interesting article:
http://infowars.net/articles/october2007/031007Flag.htm

Now, silly as I consider that, I understand it is international convention to avoid this. Although the vigilante retribution was a bit surprising. Before you think unfairness, it is also illegal to fly the American flag above another nation's flag. That is to say, unless there are many flags from the same central position, in which case I forget the exact rules. Strangely enough, if the US flag is at half mast, foreign flags needn't be, which seems to go quite against the intended purpose. It's these little trivia that make the laws interesting.

But I looked up the laws and regulations relating to this, as I couldn't believe it was law. it is: apparently, it is illegal to fly the American flag in any way except by extremely stringent laws and regulations. Here are some links describing the finer points:
http://www.wi.net/flag.html
I guess this might be just etiquette:
http://www.ushistory.org/betsy/flagetiq.html

Some of the funnier things you can't do:
* Wear it as clothing (so no cool jackets, hats or ties -- well, it isn't symmetric anyhow). Ought I report someone I saw wearing a t-shirt in the design of the flag. Also, Miss America had better not wear it to the Miss World competition. However: a flag patch is O.K. for clothing.
* Clamped to the left fender of your car (it must be the RIGHT fender!)
* Over the hood of your car (so don't paint your car in its colors)
* When suspended vertically, flying the blue bit (the union) in any which way but north in an east-west street or east in a north-south street
* Cover anything with it or crumple it. I know what you're thinking, but there is an exception for coffins.
* Apropos coffins: having the union over the right shoulder is right out. It must be the left shoulder.
* Have the union facing any which way but east if displayed in a building and there are more than 2 entrances (overtones of Mecca there -- always bowing in a certain direction). Actually the instructions for buildings are more complicated than the ones pertaining to finding the hidden pirate's treasure, so I didn't quite understand them. You can read them on the site above. I guess the main thing is: if you have trouble with your directions, skip the flag-placing. Oh: all this applies only if suspended, so please feel free to hang it on the walls in any direction (as long as it is prominent).
* Embroider it on advertising gear.
* Never place any flag above it on U.S. soil. I imagine this is a bit awkward for the United Nations, which is headquartered in New York. I suppose they may have declared that building international territory just as an exception.
* Wave it from anything but a staff at a sporting event. However, if you use a staff, someone behind you will probably brain you with it, so use your own judgement here.
* Bake its design into a cake.
* Use it on a credit card. I actually know at least 3 people (including us) with these cards -- Capital One and Providian used to issue them. We got ads for it too, and it seemed a nice gesture. But don't report us...

What you must do:
* If you're an alien, stand to attention when it is being hoisted. E.T., did you read up on local laws before coming here? There is something to the same effect for citizens.
* Properly illuminate it (so take it in at night unless you have a light source nearby).

This is fairly arcane, of course, and on the second page below, you can helpfully find instances of violators. These include Mr. Bush junior, for the record, and as a double offender no less (standing on one and autographing another). Other, perhaps more distinguished violators include the U.S. Post Office (a flag stamp), Bank of America (part of their logo), a random child who drew one (note that this is contradicted later in the same article). Also with them stand anyone manufacturing or wearing any flag t-shirt, boxer, tie or jacket with a flag larger than a patch, and not employed in public service (roughly). For old t-shirts, I quote from the above site: "Because the T-shirt is, according to the Flag Code, indeed a flag, it leads to the somewhat absurd conclusion that it needs to be retired in a dignified way."

All these laws date from 1942. It's understandable, at a time of heightened nationalism, xenophobia, and patriotism. Happily, now in peacetime (well -- relatively peaceful times), I know of few cases where the authorities have clamped down on this sort of thing. It's, of course, quite possible. And if not, there's always your friendly local vigilante.

There were similar regulations for how to salute the flag even before (the Pledge of Allegiance et al), but the original salute was changed, because the Nazis used it too. Ditto the swastika: peaceful until the Nazis got a hold of it. Oh yes, the trim, Chaplin-esque square moustache went the same way. Even Germany is rather unfashionable now due to them.

Anyone know of other nations with similar regulations?

[Death]

Nobody enforces those laws besides Texas and Alabama, well Nevada too apparently.

[Gen. Volkov]

Yeah, I know most of them are not enforced in my state.

[bjornredtail]

Oh, how I miss my home...

Anywhoo, at the UN or in other situations where foreign flags are flown, all are supposed to be at the same height. Hum... Where did I read that again? FM 22-5 (Army's drill and ceremony guidelines)? I thought it was a matter of international protocol more than anything else.

[The Beatles]

Ironically, the shopowner's simple solution in pandering to his audience is to fly just one flag of his choice.